Heather Romero-Kornblum

What I Broke Out Of

I said everything was just an empty shoebox to you

when they contained gifts 

I lovingly contemplated

I’m not surprised I was shelved

in some city of ruins in your brain

There is something still alive in this old life of yours

Urned fetal into plaster,

I screamed

I can pick up the pieces

Make it beautiful

Platonic Wife

What the fuck is a platonic wife?

It’s not the woman whose body

you can’t get enough of

but she almost dies

(anaphylactic shock,

then heart attack,

pulmonary emboli,

adrenal crises,

etc.)

Then

you almost kill her

(mixing up her meds,

letting her teeter low oxygen

in and out of consciousness for two hours,

screaming at her to choke it down

as, unable to swallow, she heads toward paralysis,

refusing to administer the epi pen while on the phone with 911

and the operator begging to help epi me as I was so far gone,

I forgot how, 

despite my so-called obsession with anaphylaxis,

etc.)

You vow

Never again

(supposedly over

your mental break

but now fearful of eros)

As a platonic wife

it would be ok-ish if I die

survivable

You wouldn’t accidentally almost kill me

for (almost) dying 

– I’m in my 40s

I don't have time for this ridiculousness

of a platonic wife

(certainly not after 10 years together,

and spending the last year in and out of death

and being physically able to fuck again)

Stoicism and monk-like tendencies

are so ego-driven

I would rather be loved

Out loud

Before I am dust

Rainbow

I saw a rainbow today

out the window

Wet trees hiding the miracle

Then I returned 

storage bins to Target

to buy groceries

Everything is ephemeral